a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
