Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
try to milk me bitch
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