we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
