I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
