You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
