That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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