Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
