So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
