The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize