Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
