you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
