well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We are two peas in an std pod
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
