I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
