Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
