god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize