I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
