I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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