So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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