sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
