Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
