If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
