he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She's just so happy...and so naked.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
