My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
where are you?
Hypothermia
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Randomize
