took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
