If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Is Oprah even human
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
