I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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