Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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