i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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