i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
