When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
