i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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