hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Panties = found
Randomize
