i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
vagina is talking i cant
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
