dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
