dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
