THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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