woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
