how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
