My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
