If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
