As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
