break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
