we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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