o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
