If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
