hell yes lets make some ravioli
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
