I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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