when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
