My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Still dying that you shit outside
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
