so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
