Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I smell stomach acid.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
