Can i not drive my cunt home
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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