if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
