it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
