fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
