OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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