I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
