Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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