like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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