oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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