bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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