he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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