so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Found your dick twin last night
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize