im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
