Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
