You're completely useless in the revolution.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize