why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
