Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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