Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
