We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
