So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
