So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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