Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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